Going through a divorce can be a difficult and emotional time for everyone involved, but it can be especially tough on children. In New Jersey, families face unique challenges during divorce proceedings, and it’s crucial for parents to focus on the well-being of their children throughout the process. While divorce marks the end of a marriage, it does not end a parent’s responsibility to provide care and support for their children. Understanding how to support your children during a divorce in New Jersey can make a significant difference in helping them cope with the changes ahead. At, Tanya L. Freeman, Attorney at Law, we are here to guide you through the legal process and help you navigate the complexities of your case.
The Importance of Communication with Your Children
One of the most important ways you can support your children during a divorce is by communicating with them openly and honestly. Children may feel confused, scared, or unsure about what is happening, and it’s essential to address their feelings and concerns. Taking the time to sit down with your children and explain the situation in terms they can understand can help them feel more secure.
It’s important to reassure your children that the divorce is not their fault and that both parents will continue to love and care for them, even if the family dynamic is changing. Encourage them to ask questions and share their thoughts. Listening to your children can help you better understand what they are going through and what they need during this challenging time.
Parents should aim to avoid speaking negatively about one another in front of the children. When children hear hurtful remarks about one parent from the other, it can create confusion, stress, and emotional pain. By maintaining a positive and respectful tone, even when disagreements arise, you can help your children feel more at ease.
Maintaining Routines for Stability
Children often thrive when they have consistent routines, and divorce can disrupt their daily lives. To help them adjust to the changes, try to maintain their regular schedules as much as possible. This includes keeping their bedtime, mealtime, and homework routines on track. When children know what to expect, they may feel more secure, even when major changes are happening in the family.
More than an accomplished divorce and family law attorney, Tanya L. Freeman, is a consummate professional with a wealth of corporate and life experience. Known as a leader and strategist, Tanya L. Freeman was appointed by the Governor of New Jersey as Chair of the Board of Directors of the University Hospital in Newark, New Jersey. Tanya L. Freeman also presents among the ranks of public speakers. She captivates and inspires professional groups nationwide. "Tanya has the eloquence and oratory brilliance with the ability to forge deep connections with her listeners."
Tanya L. Freeman, Attorney at Law
Managing Partner of the Family Law Practice at Callagy Law
If your children are involved in extracurricular activities such as sports, clubs, or hobbies, it’s important to keep those routines in place as well. These activities can provide a sense of normalcy and give children an outlet to express themselves in healthy ways. Maintaining their social connections with friends and peers is also important for their emotional well-being.
While changes in living arrangements are common during a divorce, parents should work together to minimize disruptions to the children’s routines. By keeping some things the same, such as school attendance, favorite activities, or time with extended family members, you can help provide stability in a time of uncertainty.
Creating a Co-Parenting Plan
In New Jersey, co-parenting is often a central part of the divorce process, as courts encourage both parents to remain actively involved in their children’s lives. One of the best ways to support your children during and after the divorce is by creating a co-parenting plan that prioritizes their needs. A well-thought-out co-parenting plan ensures that both parents have time with the children and that their daily care and upbringing are handled in a cooperative manner.
Your co-parenting plan should outline the children’s living arrangements, how decisions about their education, health care, and extracurricular activities will be made, and how holidays and special occasions will be shared. Clear communication between parents is key to making co-parenting successful. By setting aside any personal differences and focusing on what is best for the children, you can create an environment where they feel loved and supported by both parents.
I was very fortunate to find Tanya online during an urgent family matter. I was able to speak with her on our situation and she immediately jumped on the case the same day. I was impressed at her knowledge and her team as they were able to answer questions on the spot and navigate through an unpleasant situation. Her honesty and responsiveness have made this process much easier, and the support she has provided has truly gone above my expectation of a family law firm. This is truly an exceptional firm & I would highly recommend.” - Lydia Martinez My father recently hired Tanya Freeman; Family Law Attorney and her team as a replacement to handle his divorce which has been going nowhere for over 3 years with a different attorney. Tanya and her team have done so much within just a few months for his trial and has given my father a new sense of hope. The team is always quick to respond to any questions. The case is still ongoing, however, my father has newly restored confidence that he will be treated fairly and with his best interest in mind. We definitely recommend Tanya Freeman; Family Law Attorney." - Molly Howard Tanya is an outstanding attorney! Her attentiveness to detail and willingness to be honest with her clients means you’re going to get the best possible outcome for your case. She and her team went above and beyond, making sure my divorce and custody case ended neatly and in the best interest of my children. Her pricing is reasonable and she’s willing to work with you. I highly recommend Tanya Freeman to anyone going through a divorce or family law case!" - Jenifer Mckinney
Parents should also be mindful of how they handle transitions between households. Children may find it difficult to move between two homes, so making the process as smooth as possible is important. Consistency in rules, discipline, and expectations across both homes can help children feel secure and avoid confusion.
Supporting Emotional Health
Divorce can be emotionally challenging for children, and it’s essential to provide them with the emotional support they need during this time. Children may experience a range of emotions, including sadness, anger, confusion, and anxiety. As a parent, it’s important to be patient with them and to recognize that every child may cope with the divorce differently.
If your child seems withdrawn, anxious, or unusually upset, consider seeking the help of a counselor or therapist who specializes in working with children going through family changes. Therapy can provide children with a safe space to express their feelings and develop coping strategies. It can also help parents understand their children’s emotional needs more deeply.
Encouraging your children to talk about their feelings and letting them know it’s okay to feel sad or upset is important. Let them know you are there to listen whenever they need you. Additionally, provide them with opportunities for fun and relaxation, whether it’s spending time with friends, engaging in hobbies, or simply having family movie nights.
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The Role of Both Parents in a Child’s Life
One of the most important things parents can do during a divorce is to ensure that both of them remain involved in the children’s lives. In New Jersey, the court system often encourages shared parenting responsibilities, as studies have shown that children benefit from having both parents actively involved in their upbringing.
For children, spending quality time with both parents helps them feel connected and secure, despite the divorce. It’s important for both parents to be present during important events such as school activities, sports games, birthdays, and holidays. By showing a united front and working together, parents can create an environment where their children feel loved and valued by both sides.
When conflicts arise between parents, it’s critical to keep those disagreements away from the children. Fighting or arguing in front of them can lead to increased stress and emotional difficulties. Instead, parents should focus on resolving their issues privately or with the help of a mediator or legal professional, if needed.
Encouraging Positive Relationships with Both Sides of the Family
Divorce can sometimes cause strain on relationships with extended family members, such as grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. However, maintaining these connections can provide children with additional support and stability during the divorce process. Children often find comfort in spending time with extended family, and it’s important for them to continue nurturing those relationships.
Both parents should encourage their children to spend time with family members from both sides and to stay connected with their broader support system. This can help children feel more grounded and give them a sense of continuity in their relationships, even as other aspects of their lives are changing.
Moving Forward After the Divorce
As the divorce process comes to an end, it’s important to focus on how to move forward in a healthy and positive way. Supporting your children doesn’t stop once the legal proceedings are over; it’s a long-term commitment to ensuring their emotional and physical well-being. Parents should continue to communicate openly, cooperate in co-parenting, and work together to create a stable environment for their children.
Children need time to adjust to the changes in their family structure, and each child will do so at their own pace. Be patient and continue to offer love, reassurance, and understanding as they adapt to their new reality. Encourage them to embrace the positive aspects of their new family dynamic and to look forward to new opportunities and experiences.
Navigating a divorce is never easy, especially when children are involved. If you are facing a divorce in New Jersey and need guidance on how to protect your children’s well-being and secure their future, Tanya L. Freeman, Attorney at Law, is here to help. With experience in family law, Tanya L. Freeman provides compassionate legal support to parents navigating the challenges of divorce. Contact our office today to learn more about how we can assist you during this difficult time and help you create the best possible outcome for your family.